Suggestions to improve our self-control

Self-control helps us, in order to control our emotions rather than let them control us, something than can sometimes be catastrophic. The important thing is to make our emotions work in favor of us and not against us. Our goal is to choose the most efficient and the most appropriate response in any case.

Following are some ideas on how to improve our self-control:

  • Anger besides hurting others can also be the most hurtful abuse for our well-being.
  • We make a list of all the situations that drive us mad and try to understand why these situations have this effect on us and what we can do so as not to “go up in smoke” so easily.
  • We acknowledge exactly how we feel at the time we are about to lose control and how we feel after we lost control for good. How do we feel?
  • Write down how losing control affects us, as well as others. What exactly is happening when we lose our patience?
  • We control our catastrophic feelings such as anger, jealousy and envy.
  • We try to relax more and decide not to get upset with minor incidents.
  • We do not create negative visions on future situations, people or future facts.
  • We don’t victimize ourselves. We are aware that it’s not what is happening that hurts us. It’s the way we choose to respond to it.
  • Looking at the funny side of difficult situations and do not hesitate to make fun of ourselves. This will help us loosen up and be able to see things from another perspective.
  • Be patient with each other. Speak less and listen more. It is the main reason why humans have two ears and one mouth…
  • When we feel the pressure accumulating in our body, we take a break and take up a pleasant activity.
  • Do not interrupt others when they are speaking. Practice talking slower and steadier.

Next time we feel we’re going to lose control, we try not to think what has made us feel upset. Do something else; get some fresh air or exercise and DO NOT THINK OF ANYTHING!

If you would like to explore more please visit

Avra Lyraki (Ph.D. MCC, ICF)

Global Executive Communication Coach (MCC, ICF) | Government & C-Level Communication Mentor|ICF Assessor, ACTC & Mentor Coach| TEDx Speaker| HBR Advisory Council Member